As I awoke yesterday morning, I was dreaming about film negatives. I don't know why... I just was. My mind was going over our hall tree bench and all the family photo albums that I store inside the bench part...as well as the BOXES of negatives I have saved over the years. I am an avid photograph lover. I love to take pictures and now with the digital cameras, I don't have to save negatives any more. Now it goes on the memory stick to take to the developer or in my case, I simply hook up my camera to my computer and wa-lah, they are downloaded and ready for printing on my printer in a flash!
The idea crossed my mind while I was coming out of sleep... why dwell on the negatives? My mind was muddling over the boxes of brown strips stored away. There is no beauty in film negatives. You can't even see the picture well. If you try to hold them up to the light, you can see outlines and sometimes goofy grins all in weird surreal colors. Things look like they are from a different planet! Then I began to think, "Yes, but without the negatives we would never have the beautiful pictures that we all enjoy. The negatives bring about such a wonderful positive outcome.
Yes, you know where I am going with this! Without the negatives we have in life, we wouldn't truly have a deep understanding of all the positives that exist. People tend to dwell on the negatives, but they don't see the real picture that God is developing. If we would just step back and wait on the Lord, we would see what He intended us to see all along. Sometimes it's a real process that doesn't happen instantly. Wouldn't we all love to see our lives unfold as quickly as a Polaroid picture? But life isn't that way. Sometimes we mope through, wading our way through oceans of struggle. We think we can't make it through, but my friend, that is not the case. May God give us all vision today to see things that we cannot... the true picture; to trust in the fact that He allows enough negative in our lives to really understand and glory in the positives. In the process, He is trying to teach us something about ourselves and also about Him. Are we really dependent on Him or is that just something we like to say when we're not walking through difficult times???
We also need to remember to focus on the positive things. When I was little... this was the theme of the old hymn "Count Your Blessings". Remember the words? "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done? Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your many blessings, see what God has done!"
Today has been filled with many positives and negatives here in the Big Weiss family. As many of you know, I was awaiting the results of my 3 hour glucose tolerance screen, which DID come back positive for gestational diabetes. This next week will involve a visit with a nutritionist to learn about how to try to control type 2 diabetes with a special diet as well as obtaining information on how to test my blood levels every day...something I've never had to do. I'll have one of those little testing machines and the whole bit. But as I've always said... I've experienced just about everything that you can experience in my years of gestation! This is just one more area that I'll be able to minister to women about in the future. I do not relish the idea of having to take my blood levels multiple times a day, but I don't have too long to go now. Even though my diabetes will more than likely go away after birth, I will have to be checked in the future for type 2, as now I will be considered at higher risk.
I am praising the Lord, however, that we do live in a day and time where this kind of thing can be caught and treated.
On some positives, I will get to eat more often during the day.
Also a positive, we were able to get our school curriculum ordered this morning, which is always a relief to me. We saved about $900 more than we thought we were going to as well... what a blessing from the Lord. Now all I have to do is get a few things ready and we'll be able to be back in session! I went back and forth on a start date because of the baby coming, but we decided on one now that hopefully will work.
Also this morning, I scheduled my C-Section. That's always a nice feeling to have that on the books.
One negative that will more than likely be a positive in the end... the practice that I go to decided to quit delivering babies at the hospital I was going to deliver at. It was disconcerting at first to have to go to yet another hospital, but I think in the end, I will like the new one much better. Besides, this one is more Christian oriented! That's always a plus!
Well, that's about it for today. I have a lot of running around to do and I should try to eat something soon. I have a feeling the rest of my pregnancy will be all about the food......
Until later... blessings, friends!
