For my dear readers, thank you for your patience as we have been away for some time on what I would like to classify as a sabbatical. Hopefully now we can return to some normal blogs rather than ONLY our mini devotions that I have been posting, which can also be found on Facebook. If you have not signed up to be a fan with us, we would love it if you would join our Expectant Prayers movement! I do my best to post something fresh and new five days a week. The postings on Facebook are whatever the Lord placed on my heart during daily prayer. It’s not just for expectant mothers… it’s for the body of Christ who lives with expectant hearts! We only have 37 or so fans currently and would love to see the impact of Expectant Prayers grow!
2009 IN REVIEW: Living the Unexpected
Last year turned out to be not what we expected at all! But, as we have learned before and can say with living proof – He is God of ALL ; things expected and unexpected! The beginnings of the year boasted promises, hopes, and dreams. January through March of 2009 was spent planning for a move, writing on several new books, and hoping to see my parents make a move either closer to my sister or to my family. Unfortunately, mom had her stroke in on March 9th and died ten days later.
After mom’s passing, it seemed like everything outside of our personal lives and four walls of our home just stopped. We did not move, I didn’t complete a single new book, I cancelled speaking engagements and did nothing ministry-wise that wasn’t absolutely necessary! This was disappointing in some ways, but looking back - I believe what was accomplished was exactly what was supposed to be accomplished. Taking time to rest is so very important! But it was more than rest. It was also a time of God taking us to the depths of anguish. Trials by fire. It’s a purifying and cleansing time – painful, yet so profitable. Some of the best things in life are born of anguish. It’s a birthing process to new things where we learn of the Spirit of God things that could never be taught by men.
I can’t begin to tell you what her loss has meant to all of us. With her passing, it feels that a piece of our hearts went with her. She was an intercessor and best friend. Her love and support encouraged all of us and we’ve needed time to heal. Her absence has left my sister, my dad, and me coping with grief and trying our best to adjust to a new normal. We’re not quite “there” yet and frankly, I’m not sure that there IS a place to arrive. I think it’ all part of the journey and remembering the past through God’s perspective helps filter and guide our destinations tomorrow.
I’ve taken the past 10 months to rest and nurture my family and faith. God, in His graciousness, let me know that it was okay to put things aside and simply nuzzle into His presence. After all, He knew all this was coming anyway. It was hard for me in some ways because I am so task-oriented. In other ways, though, I’m not sure what quality of writing/ministering would have emerged as most of the past 10 months seems like a blur/fog. All of life didn’t cease, however. The hustle and bustle of the normal Big Weiss Family life has still remained. We’re still a homeschooling family – which always takes great effort. We’ve also taken on additional roles to help with my dad. He’s trying to get his condo in Ohio sold so that he can move out with one of us girls. There has also been a lot of family business to take care of after mom's passing. Thankfully, most of the legal issues concluded in December.
It’s hard to describe to someone looking on with no personal point of reference what loss can do and how grief can so deeply affect your life. Unfortunately, there are no visible scars and no casts for broken hearts. But, just like any physical injury, emotional ones need time to repair too.
So dear readers, the cast if off so to speak and I am ready to gingerly enter my new beginning. It will probably take a little while to get back into the full swing of things. I believe God has promised me a mighty, abundant harvest in 2010! The soil of my life has been at rest for an entire year! It’s fertile and tilled by trial. Amid the trial, He has never left or forsaken us! He has allowed all of this for a reason and it will bring Him honor and glory.
WHAT’S GOING ON THIS YEAR:
Your guess is as good as mine. We have several projects near completion and many, many more to go. God is working and expanding our horizons. I anticipate there are going to be loads of unexpected events this year, so I’m not counting or discounting anything! We are praying and planning on finally making a move as well as added ministry ventures. Our hearts are expectant with anticipation that God’s will IS going to be accomplished in and through us.
WON’T YOU JOIN US IN PRAYER?
We are asking everyone who reads our blogs or believes in our ministry of living expectantly will become prayer partners with and for us during this year. We know without a doubt that if we approach God’s will and purpose through prayer and keep ourselves in right relationship with Him that He will do above and beyond all that we can ask or imagine!