Expectant Prayers ®

Jennifer Jo Weiss

Do You Have Trouble Saying "No"?

In my prayer time this morning, I really felt compelled to address this issue for someone out there.  If this isn't for you, chances are you know someone who it is for......

Say it with me everyone..... "NO!"

Are you the kind of person who has trouble telling others "no"?   I see these kinds of people all the time... in fact I used to be one.  (NOT anymore, BTW)   Usually this comes with compassionate people or those who just don't want to disappoint others (especially if they have the means to comply with whatever the demand is).   You agree to do something for someone else and then instantly complain about having to do whatever it is that they asked you to do.  You feel taken advantage of, imposed upon,  and taken for granted.  Your life is full of stress and you need relief... if this is you... keep reading.

My question to you today is not a selfish one, but does need consideration in many of our lives:  "Are you taking care of YOU?"     Yeah... what about YOU.

Of course, my main perspective on this topic is in regard to busy parents.  Too many of us bite off more than we can chew just to turn around and have nothing left for our own families.   Just as in our Spiritual walks, we must take care of our own selves first, otherwise there is nothing to give from and you'll quickly be "burnt out".  Believe me, people are so brazen in this day and time... they know who to pick.  The old saying goes, "If you have something that needs done, find a busy person to get it done."  The unspoken theory is that busy people manage time well and will always meet their deadlines.   I guess sometimes that is true and other times it isn't.   The bottom line is: who is going to take care of you and your family... no one but YOU!  God has given you to be overseer of a household and a family (and possibly other areas), but you need to know where your limits are.

I'll give you some examples; maybe you're a stay-at-home mom that everyone seems to think is the neighborhood babysitter.  I once had a woman call me to watch her two (very active) children just weeks after having a C-Section.  I thought it was an emergency- the mom said it was- and so I begrudgingly agreed to watch them.  It turned out when the dad dropped them off, the "emergency" was his bowling league!  Gimme a break!   And how presumptuous and rude on the part of those parents.    I couldn't believe that they had asked me to do that! 


Perhaps your added demands are from family, overly needy friends, your job, your children (you can't tell them "no"), your church (oh, that's a biggie), or other unmentioned sources... whatever the cause of your stress, let me remind you today that Jesus said His yolk is easy and His burden is light!   He doesn't want you to be weighed down with undo stress and frustration.   MANY TIMES HOWEVER, OUR STRESS IS OWN OWN FAULT!

Let me empower you today... sometimes we just need to be told that it's OK to say "NO".    Yes, it IS!  You have permission.   You're not every one's work horse.   It's OK to set limits and realize that you're not Super-Person.   An especially good way to gage other's requests is to simply ask "Would I ask that of someone else?"  If your answer is "NO", then you should say, "NO!"  And don't feel guilty about it.   Better yet, you don't even have to have a reason/excuse.  You can say "no" just because you don't feel like!    Oh, yes... yes, you CAN!

Many times people don't realize what kinds of demands we already have on our time and schedules, but you are not being a good steward of your life if you constantly having to do for others.   Yes, God wants us to minister outside of our own lives, but only HE can define that for you.  Besides, ever hear of the word "balance"???  We have a lot of parents out there riding the teeter totter alone!

Bottom line:  God has called overseers to have charge of their own affairs first.  You should not be striving to be a people-pleaser, you should be a God-pleaser.  Make "NO" a very important verb in your vocabulary.  Use it often... and when you do... it will get easier to use.

I am praying for you, friend.  May the Spirit of God give you insight, strength, and discernment into this invaluable life lesson today!  Take it to heart and apply it.


Stay tuned, I am still planning blogging those belly shots!  My sister asked about them yesterday!  Hopefully I will get to them by the end of this week or early next week.


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